Whenever I look back, I always realize that I’ve changed a little.
It seems that life is getting hard days by days with more hurts to get and hard decisions to make. It does like at a April night in Saigon, the weather is crazy hot and I feel so lonely. Even I’ve learned a lot of things after getting a lot of hurts. However, it does not mean that I won’t get hurt anymore…
I’ve learned how to accept the truth, not to compare myself with the others, ignore something, just focus on myself & my beloved people. I’ve chosen not to argue on tiny things & not to judge the others. I’m listening to myself a lot and remind myself to be serious & disciplined with everything I picked whatever it is.
And on the night like this, I hate myself so much for missing you that much even all bad things you did to me. I hate myself so much for compromising all my rules because of my heart. I hate myself so much for letting you think that I’m always here waiting for you. But I’m not here anymore you know. I’m moving on for the better things, for the love I think I deserve. I don’t blame you on anything because it’s hard to ensure that feeling in such bad situation. We all knew it from the beginning and ignored it. Haizz.
I believe that if the heart matters, timing doesn’t. And if you want to get out of my life, I just let you go because it’s the best I can do, for myself and us.
As you’re saying that everything happens for a reason. When this door is closing, another one is opening. I don’t know what I don’t know. And I don’t know what is the good thing waiting for me at the end of the road. So what I can do now is taking care of myself, improving myself, loving myself, listening to myself and never loosing faith to see the best coming to my life.
Maybe we need pass through hell before heaven. And I need to pass through this loneliness & difficulty before roses.