There’ve been the days in your life that you don’t want to face again & again but you will.
Such the bad days just come along during the journey of youth. And they are apparently unavoidable. There’re still the pains even I thought they were already gone away but they’ve recently appeared & squeezed my heart again.
I realized this at the night I was drinking the last bottle of beer after a lot alcohol before on a very famous sky bar. Around me, people were in nice dressed, they seemed good looking & happy. But I wonder if they were really happy after the party, after the feeling that alcohol brought to them or all they got was emptiness like me?
When we were sitting in the expensive armchair of the hotel, my friends said that this feeling made him happy but I did not.
Nice dresses, luxury things, good wine, good music don’t make me happy. I can not enjoy them while I’m struggling with a lot of things ahead.
There was a day when I was a student and I always consider to buy anything because of budget constrain. I & my E were going out for a dinner, we chose to eat my favorite street foods but we were not enough money to spend for drink, we decided to order 1 cup and shared. During this dinner, he just drank the ice in this cup to let me drink the coke inside. I was really touch & we were really happy. That’s why even I was treated not well then, I’m thankful for that kind of good time together. I’m thankful for the feeling called true happiness.
Happiness really comes from inside, from the job makes me come to work everyday with a smile, from the family & friends who stand by me forever, and from the love with compassion & commitment.
It could not come from casual demands, from the luxury I’m wearing on.
So if today when you look into my eyes then ask me if I am happy. I can say no without hesitation. It’s quite hard to me now when I think all the world is against me. But I never give up on this journey. I just keep believing that no matter what happens, the sun rises in the morning, the rainbow appears after the rain. I will be fine and I will be stronger then.
Just keep faith in any circumstances. I’ll be okay again 🙂